Sunday, August 28, 2011

~*63 Days Until Halloween*~

I am a self confessed Halloween junkie! I have loved it since I was a little girl. I can remember the excitement I would feel bubble up in my stomach when I'd be on my walk home from school and get close to my house and see that my mother had her Halloween cut outs taped in the front windows of the house. I also knew that it meant the rest of the house would be decorated and it would soon be time to start planning my costume (which was on my mind pretty much from August on) and start helping her pack the goodie bags she would pass out on Halloween night. I would spend hours taking dum dum suckers and covering each one with a tissue, tying it with ribbon and adding eyes with a marker to make little ghost treats to tuck into the bags.

My mother had the most wonderful Halloween decorations that I would give anything to have right now. I'm not even sure what happened to them. Do you remember those big plastic decorations they used to make, the ones that were made of a bunch of little pieces of plastic somehow melted together? They were flat and you would hang them up. She also had this paper witch that had crepe paper legs that hung down. I remember the face scaring me when I was her eyes would follow me around the room. As I got older I would sometimes help her pull the decorations out and put them up. Everything always went in the same spot was like that for all of her holiday decorating. It was actually comforting in a way,something I could count on. As we'd open the boxes you'd get that first smell of things that are old and packed away. Most of the things had to be from the early 60's and maybe even late 50's. Again, what I would give to have them now!

I fully decorate my house from top to bottom inside out every year. I had so much fun when my kids were little. we would do a "grave yard" in the front yard every year and I used to get a magazine called Family Fun that had directions in it one year to make ghosts that you tied together and staked in the ground around a tree so it looked like they were playing ring around the rosy. Great magazine by the way if you have small children, it absolutely celebrates the fun in having kids and was always filled with great ideas.

I've decided that we're going to have a huge Halloween party this year. We used to have one every year and don't know why I stopped but I'm going to plan one again. I always do it as costumes mandatory but this year think I'll let people decide. Not sure what hubby & I will be this year. Sometimes we go as a "set" other times not. I have been pretty much anything you can think of from a witch to a belly dancer...such fun to be someone else for a night!! I plan games and we have lots of food & drink. My dog is also fully dressed each year and has been since he was a puppy. Last year I made him a fuzzy pink bunny costume, have to say that will be hard to beat! I have people that come to our house every year to see what Dakota will be...he's a good sport my old boy. He lets Mommy have her fun and knows he'll get a sucker or two while we hand out the candy.

Today I plan on doing a bunch of cleaning and laundry then I'm parking my butt on the couch and stitching and watching a scary movie. Whoo Hoo another perk for Halloween!! Love me some scary movies!! Have any of you seen the Paranormal Activity movies?? The new one will come out in theatres around Halloween and I will be there!! If you did see them I have to tell that my son messed with me with the kitchen cabinet scene in the second one when we got home that night. I went up stairs and changed (okay I made my husband go upstairs with me because I was scared) and when I came down and turned on the kitchen light he had "remade" the scene. Won't spoil it for those of you who may not have seen it but for any that have I know you get it. I swear it made me jump because I was so on edge! What a snot!! He still laughs at me about it! I have a Pineberry lane pattern called Fancy Blackett that I just started and am anxious to get lost in. I got it in a swap with some great Halloween goodes that I'll post when I get my camera going yet again.

So 63 days until Halloween but today it feels like fall here already. The breeze is cool, I have a pork roast & potatoes & onions in the crock pot making the house smell yummy, a can of pledge in one hand and my needle and thread in the other and actually have all my boys home with me today....that never happens!! I love the comfort fall brings. Hope you all have a wonderful Sunday!!

Wednesday, August 24, 2011


Good morning!! So good to be back.
My mother in laws funeral was quite an emotional upheaval, amazing what families can sometimes do to your heartstrings. People make assumptions without really know what is going on and it can be unfortunate when that happens.
We were unable to make the viewing for her and it tore my husbands heart out. He had quite possibly the hardest decision of his life to make and as he couldn't be in two places at one time we had to miss it. We however drove all night to get to the actual funeral and almost missed being able to see her as they were going to close the casket that night to take her to the church in the morning and would not reopen it. Thank God for my sister in law that she begged them to wait for us and set up a time in the morning for us to go in alone and say our goodbyes.
With everything else that has been going on in our lives it nearly tore my husband apart, he was barely able to make it to the casket and had to sit down and completely lost it. I felt so completely helpless. We were emotionally, spiritually and physically exhausted from dealing with our day to day battles and for him to let her go....especially with so much unfinished business in his heart and so many hurt feelings it was beyond difficult.
Unfortunately his family did not understand out missing the viewing and probably never will. I tried to reach out to a couple of people for a small explanation and they would not speak to me. Other assumptions I think had been made. Sad, families are supposed to pull together at times like this. If we had in any way been asked about the timing of the funeral seeing how we were coming from out of town this could have all have been avoided. My husband is a broken man right now...but I will get him on his feet.
Now we move on and refocus on our family and keep trying to fix what we can and hope and pray in the days to come for a good outcome with our son and the dilemma he is in. I wish I had the magic to just make it all go away but all I can be is strong for him. I know this all sounds so confusing but I cannot get into the details...just again ask that maybe you keep his safety in your prayers.
As for my changes after a year and a half of being laid off I was given an incredible job offer. A life changing job offer. Good luck has not been in our favor for so long that I have to keep pinching myself to make sure that I am awake and it's real. I have a final interview I will travel to New York for on Friday and will be given my start date and cross the T's and dot the I's. I will be taking a position as an assistant manager for a department in Big Lots. Totally unexpected and totally amazing...
With this job brings the knowledge and security that I will never have a utility shut off again or never worry what I will feed my family for dinner. It's been a long year.
As soon as we are completely on our feet the first thing I will do is make a huge donation to the food pantry and that will be an ongoing monthly gift. I truly encourage all of you to give if you can. Just when you think that things can't happen to you it can all fall apart in the blink of an eye...hunger for your children is the most painful thing to see. With this job for me, NEVER again.
I've missed you all so much and am anxious to get all caught up with you and see what's been going on. I will still continue working on my heart lives to create.
Hope you've all been to check in on all of you!!

Saturday, August 20, 2011

~*My Mother In Laws Passing*~

I apologize for getting off the track of my week of gratitude.
My mother in law had been sick for a long time and passed away this week, tomorrow we will head to Delaware for the funeral. My heart is heavy for my husband.
This was our last living parent and now this chapter closes completely.
We will return on Monday and I will be with you again then.
Keep us in your thoughts for a safe trip and prayers for his family as they find their way through the loss.

Thursday, August 18, 2011

~*Gratitude Thursday*~

Today I am grateful for my creativity.
It has served me since I was a little girl and followed me into my adulthood.

Some people claim to not have a creative bone in their body, I disagree.
I truly feel we are all creative in some's just finding the right medium. You don't need to hold a paintbrush in hand to be creative...making something for dinner out of your pantry when there is literally nothing there or planning an anniversary party or other big event all requires creativity.

Creativity is not necessarily a finished work of art but the result of the connection between your thoughts & heart and what comes from the marriage of them together.

My creativity does stem in the most part by the work I do with my hands. I am grateful that I am able to put my thoughts on paper and design a sampler or a doll. That I can sit at my sewing machine and make curtains for my home or stitch up a bonnet. I love that I can do came from my mother.
She always had a sewing/craft room. I loved that room. It smelled of spray starch as that's where she always ironed, and of the pastel crayons that were on her drawing easel.
She sewed my sister's wedding dresses in there. Taking fabric and turning it into a princess dream.
She dabbled at her easel and drew flowers and still lifes.
But she never had the courage or faith in herself to take it the next step further and often apologized for her finished works of art. Sad, I wish she had felt the gratitude of the gift she possessed.

Today as I sit with needle and thread in hand I will let the gratitude poor over me that I am able to express myself through this joy. From my thoughts on paper to needle and thread on cloth it becomes an extension of me...really, how incredible is that?

Today embrace that creative energy whatever it may be. Organize that closet because you have such a clear gift of putting it all together, plan an outing to the park with your kids...that takes creative planning & thought, bake a cake or stitch along with me. Maybe go to a nearby craft store and see what speaks to you for fun. Remember those color by number kits? Who says they're for kids?? Take one home and create & keep it for yourself. Nothing has to be perfect, just enjoyable.

Wishing you creative thoughts and a quiet moment or two to embrace them today

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

~*Gratitude Wednesday*~

Today on my gratitude journey I am grateful for friendship.
Friends are the cornerstone and building block of our lives, I have been truly blessed with many many friends in my life, thankfully I have always found it easy to relate to people and make friends.

Friends are there for the good times & the bad. To laugh with you and at you.
We talk about life, love and who we are or who we strive to your side they make you better and know that you are never alone.

To have this gift is precious, especially to us woman who have the tendency to question it all and wonder if what we are doing is "right". A friend guides you and will be honest...and we believe.

I have held my friends and they have held me.
I have loved my friends and they have loved me.

Blessings to all of my blogging friends...I am grateful for all of you

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

~*Gratitude Tuesday*~

As my ongoing gratitude for the week today I am grateful for food.
I am grateful when my pantry has all I need to make a meal for my family.
I am grateful when I am in the kitchen slicing and chopping, stirring and tasting....feeding my family.
For when I am covered in flour as I make homemade bread, come up with a new recipe for cupcakes, or am simmering a big pot of spaghetti sauce.
For all of the bounty to choose from in fresh fruits and vegetables, and for the hands that grow them so I may bring them home to my family
For the aromas that come from the kitchen and fill my home.
For the fact that I have a family to cook for. For friends to cook for.
That I am blessed to be a good cook like my mother was...and have so many happy memories in her kitchen cooking together and eating together, that she passed down the love for cooking to me.
I am grateful for the stuffed peppers simmering in my crockpot as I type. It means I will feed my family tonight. No one will go to bed hungry. We are blessed.
Today take a moment to feed your soul with *gratitude*.

Monday, August 15, 2011


Dru of A Fine farmhouse blog is having a week of gratitude on her blog....she has included some wonderful free graphics to use. Be sure to have a look especially if you have never visited her blog, it is absolutely wonderful!

It got me thinking that I NEED to have some gratitude for all the good that IS in my life...simple pleasures so to speak. So this week I will share what I feel are my simple blessings that I already have that money cannot buy, just what my heart can own & hold.

Today I am Grateful for
The early morning hours when I first get up and take my beloved coffee onto the porch and sit in my rocking chair. It is simply me, the awakening of the birds outside that have chosen my gardens for their nesting spots and bring my little parakeet to life inside my house when he hears them sing outside, and the occasional passing car in the early hours.

Sometimes I read or look through one of my magazines or decorating books or have pencil and graph paper in hand and work on my designs. Sometimes I just sit quietly and take it all in. I love the early morning hours...every day promises a new start and a new beginning and for that I am grateful.

What makes your heart sing??

Saturday, August 13, 2011

~*Saturday Pampering & Shopping*~

Happy Saturday to I type I have color processing in my hair and smell like coconut from the tanning bed :o) I was a hairstylist for 17 years and have to say I so miss getting my hair done in a salon (for free) with the good Paul Mitchell color. My old boyfriend from high school does hair and just recently moved back in town and I'm looking forward to him doing my hair once he gets his salon up and running but for now it's the under $5.00 dollar box of junk...but I'm gray & poor so it has to do!! Thought my hubby would give me grief about seeing him....which is silly as he has a "partner" (please NO judgment there!!) but he seems fine and honestly I wouldn't have cared anyway!!
My friend gave me her tanning package a couple of weeks and and although yes I know it is not healthy I have to admit it feels wonderful to have some color...I tan quickly too as I am of Romanian descent (my grandfather was born in Transylvania...maybe that's why I LOVE Halloween??). Have to say that my fat looks better brown!!
Off to do a little school shopping with my 15 year old son today too. I was at the mall the other night and found a store I had never gone into called the Wet Seal...had some very pretty almost vintage looking things. I don't often buy myself many clothes but boy could I have fun there if I had the cash!! I also went into Victoria's Secret (okay for me Victoria's disappointment ) and all so pretty but wow the know how many bras you can get at Walmart for the $50 a pop!! LOL  A girl can dream though right??
After this looong week I decided that today would be a let it go day....enough already.
Also hoping to go out with friends for a drink tonight. It's been YEARS since we have been out and I really am not much of a drinker anymore besides an occasional sip or two of wine but I feel like I want to be around a bunch of people and a lot of noise so we have to figure out where to go. I have no idea what bars are "fun" now. When did I get so old??
Hope you all have a wonderful each other!!

Thursday, August 11, 2011

~*A Thank You To All My Sweet Friends*~

Wow, my heart is so full from the support you have all given....amazing that we come here as strangers and find so many friends! I so appreciate all the kind words & prayers, I am blessed.
There's such a tangled web revolving around my son right now, the days to come mean so much.
I saw that Mary of Gettysburg Homestead mentioned her daughter has Aspergers....that is the same as Josh. We also just found out that he may be a bit bipolar too. The only other thing that holds true to all the former diagnosis is his ADHD & OCD which honestly I think he can thank me for (I swear one of these days I will keep track of how many times I wash my hands).
It's a relief to finally know, it just breaks my heart that it makes so much sense now and it's all so apparent that I SHOULD have could have made all the difference in the world for where he is in his life right now. But now we pray...we hope....we pray some more...and we WIN.
Thank you, thank you, thank you my sweet friends.
To wake up to immediate strength and support means more than you know to me.
I have loved being a part of this blogging community for many reasons and now I know that it is so much more than just tossing our thoughts around.
You are all the best....guess what, the sun is shining outside.....think those prayers are coming our way.
**With Love**

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

~*Trying To Find My Way Back*~

Hello to all, it's been a bit and I have truly missed being a complete part of all of you.
I have gotten on and checked in quickly here & there but my heart has honestly not been able to focus on much.
I've not been able to sit still for long moments, too much energy and too many thoughts to try and relax.....this morning seems a little better and I am going to try to enjoy all of your posts that I have missed.
I want this blog to be a happy place....I truly do....I am truly trying
But I again reach out to all of you for prayers & good energy for my family
I am a strong woman
I keep telling myself that even when I feel as if my legs are about  to buckle underneath me.
Please be patient and know that soon I WILL have all the wonderful simple things that everyday brings back again.....I will share my simple life of stitching and creating.
Just a little longer.....hopefully just a little longer.
My oldest son was just diagnosed with Autism and I encourage all of you to understand and look for the symptoms in your own loved ones....what a difference knowledge can make.
We have been misdiagnosed for 20 years, accepting Tourette's Syndrome as a final diagnosis when he was in 4th grade.
Let me tell you it was no easy task to get there either.....the medical profession can really let you down. Upon my last visit with a FORMER pediatrician I was advised to "Take him home and give him a good whooping to get some respect back".
NEVER went back....only to pick up his medical records.
Doctors, specialists, therapists......good days, bad days
And now we start all over from scratch to help him.....funny that the symbol for Autism is puzzle pieces, honestly it's all falling together like the pieces of a puzzle, it all makes sense now
If only we had know all those years ago, what a difference it would have made for us now......
It is all such a mess....
He is beautiful, he is gentle, he is kind
He is scared
And so are we
This road we are traveling will hopefully bring us strength and hope and most of all security.
PLEASE pray for him right now....pray for us as we are walking into the dark right now and need some light
Each day will get us beyond the last and closer to the next...we have a long way to go but I have to have faith that everything will work out.....I will fight for my child.
Thanks so much for letting me open my heart once again, I promise you that I will be bringing happiness here again in the near tears are building a rainbow for Josh
Miss you your family and enjoy each blessed day together

Monday, August 1, 2011

~*Life In The Way*~

Good Monday morning to all of you.
Hope you all had a good weekend and found a few moments to enjoy a little R&R or catch up time.
I apologize for being a little non-existent on here, won't bore you with all the details but lets just say "life has been in the way" a bit for me these past long days.
I have many things going on this week & really hope to accomplish some things that are dangling by loose threads both physically & emotionally. I'd rather hide under the covers with chocolate, a box of tissues & the tv remote but I don't think that's an option. Have to put on my big girl pants and a smile and step forward.
I apologize in advance if I am not around for a bit....I will try but honestly don't know what the next few days will bring to me or for me.
I'm going to have to dig really deep to find some inner strength to push through some things, make some decisions and make my path.
The twists & turns of life keep you on your toes do they not?? To be 5 again and only have to decide what ball gown Barbie will wear today...what sweet unknown bliss hangs in our hands back then!
If you all could maybe send a little positive energy my way & a little good Karma that would be great....I could really use some extra reinforcements right now.
Hope you all have a wonderful's to all us girls that know how to fight the fight and keep on going...Amen.