Thursday, July 10, 2014

~*Life Lost & Found*~

Hello seems small  :)
Months of silence but not a quiet moment in my life, heart or mind.
I had (and still have) sooooo many ideas and plans for my little blog and the never ending promise of selling my patterns.
This was going to be THE year I would finally be back on track.......finally be able to focus on and share my passion for creating and decorating and the organizing my OCD self loves. still had other plans, and you know what?
It's okay.
I'm going to share a secret with you......this blog has kept me awake at night.
So has my pattern line and all things *Kountry Porch Primitives* related.
Failure........fear, failure,fear
Eating me up.
And then it hit me.....not failure, not fear.....just life and just not the right time.
I had my sweet followers and many sweet people that I embraced in blogland.
In my "previous" life I would begin each and every day blogging & creating.
Fast forward through the past three years

1. Splitting up with my husband of 23 one can understand that pain unless they have held it in their heart.
2.Being forced from my home and not having the ability to be with my two boys due to many,many circumstances that were totally out of my control.
3. Finding new love and trying to teach my heart to trust and allow myself to be loved.
4. Sad issues with my oldest son who has Aspergers (a form of autism)
5.A motorcycle accident and injuries that took months to recover from.
6.Trying to rebuild a new life and learn from all the dark days and nights and be a survivor.....not a victim.

I have been beaten down, quietly carrying the sins not made by me but appearing that way.
Hoping time would change things, convincing myself I could fix things.

Just because someone is broken doesn't mean they want to be fixed.
Sometimes they don't know they're broken at all.
If you drop a mirror on the floor and it breaks into many pieces you can see yourself in all of them.
Sometimes I think that's how a persons mind can work, they can see fragments.....pick which pieces to look into and avoid the rest.
Sometimes people crack.
Sometimes you just can't change it.

Life is beginning to quiet down I think.
I long for hum drum.
Get up, go to work, come home and make dinner, relax, go to bed, repeat........

I have a full heart & mind and time will become right.
And when it does it will be wonderful and exciting and fulfilling because I won't be doing it half hearted.
It will be all of me.
I glued my broken mirror together and am just waiting for the pieces to dry .

Love & Hold the ones you love


  1. Praying for peace and order to be restored in your life.

  2. As I am as well....may the sun shine on you and bring happiness soon.....

  3. Peter 5:10
    10 And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you.
    Hang in there :)

  4. I'm sorry girl. Life has a way of changing around us and sometimes we don't even know what's going on, we get lost in it all. I know you are a strong woman and I know you will not only survive but come out on top. Best wishes to you and your new life.

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